Saturday, May 28, 2005

To go or not to go...

I was delighted to pop open page two of HT and see that they had decided to show Star Wars Episode III here. I spent all of yesterday wiggling in anticipation. Slightly dampened by the fact that there was absolutely nobody here to even dignify it with informed indifference – Star Wars? hmmm is it like that Independence Day film?. Nevertheless resolutely cheery.
This morning a chilling idea crept up my spine. I put it down to paranoia and put it down. Didn’t stay that way - Reared its ugly head again. Called Vishwanath keeper of books, papers and sundry information, with cold fingers and brave heart.
They can’t possibly be showing STARWARS in hindi, Can they? CAN THEY?

What do you think?

Now I tell myself with a sickly grin that maybe this is the way it was meant to be, he! See Obi Wan spouting Hindi will probably add a dimension to the surrealism, huh?
I tell myself I am not even one of those diehard types that signs off with messages about the force, or can’t twiddle with an aging tube light without slipping into an elaborate fantasy.
For chrissake! I am not even that big a fan.
But the last ever to be made Star Wars film in Hindi?
One of those silly purists in me is putting up a squeaky shrieky protest.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Theme song

All one now
No me nobody
Why is it for?

There is no thought process I can pursue that does not lead here. Bad habit, must break. It’s like one of those crazy violent cartoon shows where the very mild villain is constantly walking bang into a brick wall.
So why am I somebody’s villain. Whose show is it kid? Grow up and tell me the rules, its no fun this way.
By the way, It’s Irritation, not Angst.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Swab story - Part 2

I saw it again- that Swab I mean. This time at a concert at Bharat Bhawan. No I was not early or anything. This was actually bang (or rather flop) in the middle of the program. It was one of those classical music followed by classical dance by upcoming artists type of events. So the musicians concluded their thing; I walked in just as they were taking in what I thought was pretty generous applause. (Must say the Bhopalis are very kind, I had gone out to take a breather, couldn’t stand all the unnecessary and badly executed decoration - appashruthi even!)
And we waited for the dancers to come onto the stage- they were being introduced in the background. But no wait a minute, who walks in? Surendra’s cousin with THE SWAB. And absolutely blithely set about doing his thing. I was suddenly assailed by images of a clueless firang wondering if this visually extaordinary exercise, was a spirituosymbolic prelude to the Dance. Pity I'm always alone at these places and have to control myself with a will of Iron. And I must have been alone in thought because,
The audience (I must grant we were kind of a casual bunch) of about 200 and I think the cultural Minister and I can't remember if the ubiquitous Governor had made it that day- all watched him in perfect equanimity. I guess it was perfectly logical; the dancers needed a clean floor right?
Sometimes I feel such a tremendous affection for India.

Friday, May 20, 2005

just.....

Just threw an impromptu office party. The excuse was rather flimsy. Literally. A conch shaped lamp created from thermacole strips and mirrors. This was created by the handicapped persons downstairs undergoing personality development training. Landed up in my office through some relay gifting. Thought it would make a better lamp than a ‘wall hanging’ and duly converted it. The result was quite unanticipatedly lovely. Hence the party- gifters, giftee, and sundry floorees.
That was about the highlight of the day.
Not spectacularly significant - the day.
Oh but the importance of an average day!

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Count your blessings?

I may have begun to subscribe to a theory of this friend of mine, Carlos. He always said focusing on happiness is an uncomfortable thing. Not only does it take away from the spontaneity of it, it actually takes the feeling away. Basically that you can never be happy and aware of the fact at the same time. I used to thing that not only was this a frightening thing, but also that it reeked of a certain petulance. I always like to know that I am happy, I never had a problem existing in the warmth of the awareness.
Now I am not so sure. Thinking about a “thing” creates entryways into “it”. Yes that sounds right. So there’s the risk of negative thoughts wading in and infecting “it”. That of course depends on the general atmosphere of thoughts around this Happiness moment. So when the hell did I begin to have more negative than positive thoughts? Shit! Life must have happened to me....

Ab koi khaab sajane mein bhi dar lagta hai,
Lag gayi mujh ko zamaane ki nazar lagta hai

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

A matter of perspective this all
In whose court is the ball?
The same walls a different aura
Many boxes a new Pandora
It’s all happened before, literally,
So what’s the difference? Eventually
Why tell the story? Who’s listening?
Why the event? Damn the christening
How do I affect it at all?
This ball, this spinning boring ball
That is it. Love it says Nietzsche
But you’ve begun to believe it, haven’tya?