Chaak-e-girebaan ki talaash

Somewhere in 2008 I find I've said -

"I have no patience with patterns too large to see. I find I can’t wait for revelations. I want to make sense of it now."

I must have been hurting, I was hurting. And I remember impatience. I wanted answers for more than that immediate grief. I had not really expected to find it. 

It is some 7 years now, I wouldn't be accurate to say I've found the answers, but there has been such a fundamental shift in how I ask the questions, that I can no longer claim pain, not even for artistic affectations...

Today, again that lovely, haunting poem of Faiz's came back to me, sat perched on my lips, and wouldn't go away. It bothered me because it had no coherence with my mood. What was I to do with it?

So I did with it, what I've done to Faiz in the past too, tugged, pulled and bowdlerised it to suit my world view. But I have to admit I somewhat please with my take. It is just that it suits me, now.

My version -

Dil ke aiwaan mein liye gulnumaa shammon ki qatar

Noor-e-khursheed se ujhle hue, lalchaye hue

Husn-e-mahboob ke sayyal tassavur ki tarah

Apni zeenat ko bhienche hue liptaaye hue

Gaayat-e-sood-o-zayan, soorat-e-aagaaz-o-ma’aal

Wahi besabr tajassus, wahi angaar sawaal

Mutasir saaát e imroz ki sadrangee se

Yaad-e-maazi se judaa aahat-e-fardaa se nihaal

Tishna-labdaar jab taskeen kahin pathe hain

Larza-ashq jo aakhon se bah’hi jaate hain

Zauq-e-daqiq jo geet mein daltaa hi nahin

Dil ke nairang shigaafon se nilkalta hi nahin

Aur ek ujhlee huee masoom si darmaan ki talaash

Dast -e-zindaan ki hawas chak-e-girebaan ki talaash