Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Treading Momin's ground

With one thing or the other Momin's masterpiece has been whirling in my head these past days. There is something about truly great ghazals (probably their familiarity) that makes their Radeef-Kaafiyaas resonate with an implusive energy. Well, I have been playing with this one, but crave pardon for the impertinence by paraphrasing Ahmed Faraz- (written originally as you might guess, for Ghalib)
'Momin teri zameen par likhee tho hai ghazal
lekin tere kad-e-sukhan ke barabar nahi hun main'

Well here goes-

Jinhe rashk tha mere roz-e-aaraam se
Unhe kaho ab raat ka savera nahi hota

Kusoor-e-naama-e-khushk naamabar ka hai
Varna woh dil hota naama nahi hota

Mere pindaar ko bakshaa hi nahi kadmon ne
kaash yun dil-kash tera koocha nahi hota

Jung-e-dil mein nihatton pe vaar kya theek?
Jadal-e-jazb ka ye saleeka nahi hota

And one in in butchered Dakhani because I am feeling homesick for Hyderabad-

Mereich naam ka koitho aur nikle tho achcha hoinga
Phir bol saktoon ye beikhtiyaar dil mera nahi hota


Sheetal said...

Momin. what a nice roundy mouthful of a name.

Achcha, does that said masterpiece not take a 'jab'? that link doesn't have it.

What does jadal mean?

Ok I also have dakhani sher:
अपने कू खाबाँ देखने से मत्लब,
होता तो होता, नई होता तो क्या होता

deewaan said...

Wah! Very nice, ms. vyas! The 'kusoor-e-naama-e-khushk' one especially - irritating, isn't it, this finickiness of courier services about what they can carry and what they can't?! heh heh!!

'Jadal' [or alternatively Jidaal] is Arabic for a dispute or contest, Sheetal. And while 'jazb' is strictly (in arabic, again) attraction [or the act of absorption or 'drawing in'], it is also used (as deliberately here, i'm sure) as an abbreviation of 'jazba.h' (passion, resolute desire) - both senses tying up beautifully in this cute sher! People who can toss out lethal stuff like this have no business claiming to be 'nihatta' in the 'jung-e-dil', i say!

Both your dakhanii ones sound absolutely lovely! Shweta, is 'Koitho'...simply 'someone else'? And Sheetal, 'khaabaa.n' is Hyderabadi for 'kaabaa', is it? Truly profound sher, if that's what it is!

Shweta said...

There you go Satal, from as informed a source as you could wish for.
And Deewaansaab- you like, eh? Jolly good!
And yes that is what Koitho means, but you an I (with far less excuse being a fellow Hyderabadi) seem to have mistaken Sheetal's meaning.
She meant I now understand, the plural of Khwaab, which makes for a different but interesting sense, methinks.

Sheetal said...

Deewaan: Now see, you say such nice things, I almost wish I had meant ‘kaaba’ :-). Alas, as Shweta says, I was aiming for khwaab/khaab and the ‘aan’ being the standard dakhani suffix for plural.
Also maddeningly, if I am to stay with the pattern, the sher is all wrong. It should have been:
अपने कू खाबाँ देखने से मत्लब,
होता तो होता, नई होता नई होता

Thanks for jadal/jidaal; so Asvi tackles the niceties of love and war while shooting an aside about courier services…

deewaan said...

Oh, it is a perfectly charming sher as it stands (esp. in its modified avatar) too! It is, in fact, my fault for always wanting to read a profound, even theological, interpretation into everything!

Anonymous said...

фото малолеток ебут студентку онлайн онлайн молодежное порно видио [url=][/url]

Anonymous said...

viagra pills videos viagra viagra suppliers does viagra really work viagra substitute alternative to viagra get viagra viagra jelly viagra attorneys 2007 viagra hmo uk viagra sales viagra pills viagra results cheap viagra overnight

Anonymous said...

Интересно написано....но многое остается непонятнымb

Anonymous said...

agency black dating online [url=]hotsingles[/url] steve on singles metro detroit valentines day singles party