Somewhere
in 2008 I find I've said -
"I have no patience with patterns too large to see. I find I can’t wait
for revelations. I want to make sense of it now."
I must have been hurting, I was hurting. And I remember impatience. I
wanted answers for more than that immediate grief. I had not really expected to
find it.
It is some 7 years now, I wouldn't be accurate to say I've found the
answers, but there has been such a fundamental shift in how I ask the
questions, that I can no longer claim pain, not even for artistic
affectations...
Today, again that lovely, haunting poem of Faiz's came back to me, sat
perched on my lips, and wouldn't go away. It bothered me because it had
no coherence with my mood. What was I to do with it?
So I did with it, what I've done to Faiz in the past too, tugged, pulled
and bowdlerised it to suit my world view. But I have to admit I somewhat please
with my take. It is just that it suits me, now.
My version -
Dil ke aiwaan mein liye gulnumaa shammon ki qatar
Noor-e-khursheed se ujhle hue, lalchaye hue
Husn-e-mahboob ke sayyal tassavur ki tarah
Apni zeenat ko bhienche hue liptaaye hue
Gaayat-e-sood-o-zayan, soorat-e-aagaaz-o-ma’aal
Wahi besabr tajassus, wahi angaar sawaal
Mutasir saaát e imroz ki sadrangee se
Yaad-e-maazi se judaa aahat-e-fardaa se nihaal
Tishna-labdaar jab taskeen kahin pathe hain
Larza-ashq jo aakhon se bah’hi jaate hain
Zauq-e-daqiq jo geet mein daltaa hi nahin
Dil ke nairang shigaafon se nilkalta hi nahin
Aur ek ujhlee huee masoom si darmaan ki talaash
Dast -e-zindaan ki hawas chak-e-girebaan ki talaash
